Be strong!

Don't let anyone see your weakness.

Take one for the team.

All macho and bravado statements to show strength. All total Bullsh!t.

It is ok to show emotion.

Actually it's necessary to show emotion.

Last night we caught up with the 'Last Leg - Down Under' special.  It followed the presenters of the last leg across the Australian outback to a party in Sydney.

2 of the 3 presenters have physical disabilities.  It's a great show and returns to channel 4 this Friday night, it started during the 2012 para-olympics.

Throughout the trip across the outback, they were being encouraged to be more Aussie and 'harden the f**k up'.

Two of the guys struggled with the concept of that in some of the situations they were put in and discussed that not doing certain activities didn't make them any less man.

Towards the end of the trip they were having a  heart to heart chat and Alex mentioned that he had been too 'man', too 'hard' and not emotionally out there enough for his wife through the fertility issues.

This really hit home to me, I was the same.  When we had our failed pregnancy, I spent so much time focussing on Fran being ok that I didn't pay enough attention to myself.

It took nearly 18 months before I opened up about my feelings, I waited until Fran was 'better'.

I was being the 'man', being 'strong', showing 'no weakness' and actually putting on a fake show.

I was encouraging men through our Movember campaigns to open up and talk, yet was not doing so about the thing that was deep inside my head.

I spoke about my issues in lots of other areas just not that.

I'm writing this to let you know that it is ok to be emotional, to say and show how you are feeling.  It's more than ok it's vital to your long term health; both physical and more importantly mental.

You don;t have to be strong to be a man, you don't have to put on a brave front to be a parent.  You can show that you're struggling.

If nobody knows they can't offer support or help.

A hug and somebody telling you they love you can change your whole outlook for the day.

I hugged my best mate and told him I loved him last night as he left my kung fu class early.  One of my teenage students looked at me funny, then gave me that knowing nod that only teenagers can do when something has been processed and they think it is cool.

If a teenager thinks it's cool, it definitely is.

Give a friend or family member a call today just for a chat and to see how they are.  Go for a coffee and slice of cake - cake helps everything ;)

If you have something on your mind, clear it by speaking to somebody.  It's ok to not be ok.  

Don't worry about judgement, your friends will support not judge.

Darren 'you don't have to be strong' Checkley