I don't know where it's gone.

My mojo has disappeared over the past 6 weeks and I've struggled to get it back.

When we got back from Scotland, Fran's went looking for it and has been gone since.

Over the weekend, we went hunting and think we may have at least found a part of them.

It can be hard to be motivated and motivating on a full time basis.  

I usually don't struggle but have noticed that I really wasn't firing on all cylinders recently.

It wasn't until I spoke to one of my injury therapy clients that I realised that I was doing exactly what I tell others not to do.

I wasn't talking about it and was avoiding the fact that I didn't feel 'right' in my brain.

As you may know, we are going through the adoption process at the moment and yesterday we met some of our friends who are going through it too.  

I think I discovered my main mojo drainer while we were talking.

I used to having things planned and under my control / influence.  I already have things pencilled in with clients for next September, there are set things we will do on our journey to that date and I have those already thought out.

In our personal life at the minute, we are in the adoption twilight zone.  Planning is difficult, in case we have kids suddenly enter our lives.  

We're working on an 8 week rollout with the things we can agree to and I don't feel at all in control.

This is just how I feel and is personal to me, so if you or anyone you know is thinking about adoption, don't let my ramblings put you off.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter, we could change any plans if our social worker finds us a family.  The uncertainty is what is affecting me at the minute.

I need to be better at dealing with the unknown.

I help people do this all of the time, particularly when starting a new exercise plan or nutrition programme.  

I've simply neglected my own mindset and goals.

The purpose of this email was to apologise for the lack of emails/blogs over the past few weeks and to get it out of my brain.

By sharing, it makes it more real and I will take it seriously.

If you have anything that you need to get off your chest, do it.  It will be having a negative affect on your health, no matter how trivial you deem it to be.

If it's anything we can help with let us know.  

Darren 'finding mojo' Checkley