Apologies for the lack of emails, my planned the for writing went out of the window.

Our new housemates had lulled us in to a false sense of security.

Week 2 & 3 have been a little more manic.  We think we've nailed our routine now so everything should be much smoother.

I started back at work on Monday and we're having a slight adjustment phase but fingers crossed.

Plans change though, tonight we planned to be back from a GP appointment at 4:30 in time for tea.

The GP was 60 minutes late, he had some training in the afternoon.  Which all of the staff were on, so maybe should have known that and not booked in any appointments when nobody was going to be there.  I don't think I'm going to fit well with there system :(

It's pushed bedtime back but Fran has pretty much nailed it.  My turn on my own on Saturday, only slightly nervous at the minute.

Back to the original point of the blog.

Lesson 1.

It's not all about me.

Our new housemates arrived "pre-trained", they had ways that they did things, routines, they were used to a female being their primary / only carer.

That put a spanner in the works for my plan of being a hands-on dad.

If they fell over and I picked them up, they screamed and reached for Fran.  

If they were upset for any reason they called for Fran.

If they wanted a snack, they dragged on Fran's heels.

I felt rejected, that wasn't what I signed up for.

However, I'm not the important one, they are.  Their needs come first and I put my big boy pants on and supported Fran.  

Over the past 2 weeks they have got used to having a Dad and now call for means reach for me, they just had to learn a new set of rules.

Lesson 2.

It's all about me.

I've written many times about the importance of being a little selfish.  

Selfish in a good way.

That is, taking some time out for yourself. 

Our dogs need a big walk every day, that is the routine they have had since they were pups.

We have used that time to have a bit of 'time off' from the housemates.

One of us has done the housemates breakfast and morning routine while the other has gone out with the dogs for a walk.  We've both listened to some podcasts and audiobooks.  I've had a coffee and pain au chocolate on a park bench with the digs and reflected on the world.

If one of us is struggling, the other one takes the reigns and gives them time off.

One of our biggest strengths as a couple is we work well as a team, hopefully one of our strengths as a family will be the same.

It's important to take out time for yourself, even if it's only a 20 minute power nap in the car.

If you are functioning at a lower level, you can't give your family / friends  job / anything at all your best.

Lesson 3.

Small changes work best.

This is particularly true for nailing nutrition long term.

Everybody had an assumption that our new housemates would be put on a strict 'clean' diet when they moved in.

It doesn't work that way.

Yes, we still make most meals from scratch but they arrived eating cereal for breakfast and they still do.  3 weeks in and Fran and I are comfortable that they are settled enough for us to go back to our 'normal' breakfast.  

Cereal just doesn't do it for me.  

We eat together and the housemates can try bits of whatever we're having.  Sometimes they enjoy it, sometimes they don't.

That's pretty much the same for all meals now.

I feel a bit crappy because I've had more milk and bread in the last 3 weeks than I have in the past 3 years.

We're back to our routine and after only 3 days, I'm starting to feel like me again.

If you want to change you diet long term, the most practical way is to tackle it in stages and start with the battles you know you can win.

That's enough for today, I'll add a couple more tomorrow about activity and exercise.

Darren 'learning Spanish with Dora' Checkley

PS Thank you for the support following my last rant, it means a lot.  I'm slowly getting through my emails when I can and will reply.