Fran and the kids were watching the new
series of One, Zoo, Three on the iPlayer early yesterday morning.
I’d been out in the garage / gym tidying up ready for training and came in and sat down to have a little chill, a drink and do my journal.
As I sat down, K kicked off big time and asked me to go out to the cabin. Being rejected was a regular thing when they first moved in but thankfully it happens less now. It took me by surprise and upset me, I was
feeling pretty moody about not being accepted in to their chill time.
I opened my journal and the power message for the day couldn’t have been more appropriate.
You’re always in control of how you feel and can change it in an instant.
I accepted that K didn’t say it to hurt me, she was enjoying her chill with Mummy and A and was worried that I’d ruin it
or distract them.
She actually came over to sit by me when she realised I wasn’t going to ask them to go out for a walk or switch the screen off for breakfast time.
Some advice I give to my students regarding being triggered is that if somebody says something that could be taken in two ways and one makes you feel good and one makes you feel bad, focus on the meaning that leads to being happy. If
that’s not possible, try to understand why the person would say it and see it from their point of view.
Not always easy but if we look for the good in the words people use we often find them.
Darren “trigger-less” Checkley