Tell somebody they're too fat and you get accused of being cruel and mean.  It's not socially acceptable.

Tell somebody they're too skinny and it's fine because you're just concerned for their health.  Skinny bashing is socially acceptable.

This is wrong.

Judging anybody by their size and weight is simply not nice.  We all have our own stories for being the shape and size that we are and often there is a lot of emotion attached to those stories.  

There's a saying that I like, along the lines of:

"before you criticise somebody, walk a mile in their shoes"

I've been guilty of judging people in the past, not because of their size but various other characteristics and I've been pulled up on it and made to understand the possible reasons behind their behaviours.  Thank you Catherine for keeping me in check on many topics.

Yesterday one of our members contacted me because some of her friends had been less than supportive, they had told her she was getting too thin, she looked gaunt, that she needed some meat on her bones.  Up until that point she had been really happy with her results and progress.

Some simple 'well meaning' or were they intentional 'jealousy driven bitchy' comments made her doubt how she looked.  She looks amazing, the difference she has made to her physique over the past four months is amazing and has taken some real dedication.  

She was very happy, her partner was over the moon at her being a yummy mummy and then these comments hurt her.  I don't think it was her friends intention to hurt her but they did.

I asked about the friends who made the comments and as usual when this happens, they weren't in very good shape themselves and struggle to stick to a healthy eating plan.

We don't get our members to diet but to focus on building their long term health.  They are not restricting calories just poor quality choices.  Quality being the important word there.

Every time this happens, it is generally by somebody who is struggling to achieve results themselves, hence my 'intentional bitchy' remark above.  

To maintain weight loss and wellbeing, calories should never be the focus of your plan.  Eating a diet full of nutrient rich foods and taking some regular exercise is the way to build health and being healthy should be your goal.

Fran went on a juice retreat a couple of weeks ago, when we told people about it the standard comment was 'but she's thin already, she doesn't need to go on one of those she'll fade away'.  Fran wasn't going to lose weight, the reasons were much more personal and complex which she is going to write about his week.

Sorry for the rantiness of this email, I just get pissed off when people hurt our members because they haven't thought about the consequences of their words.

Here's a simple rule - If you wouldn't feel comfortable telling a person that they are too fat and should get some fat off their bones, don't feel comfortable telling a slim person that they are too thin and need to get some meat on their bones.

Darren 'not skinny and not a basher' Checkley