We had lots of feedback yesterday regarding Robin Williams.
Depression is thought to affect 25% of people at any one time, so if you're sitting in an office reading this and you can see three others, one of you will be feeling symptoms of depression.
It appears to be higher in men with the thought behind that being that they
have to stay 'strong'. Women are more likely to seek help. Men are three times more likely to commit suicide.
I also feel a massive factor in this is the fact that men generally don't speak about their health and certainly not their feelings with their mates. It's just not the done thing.
Every year we highlight this with the Movember campaign to raise
awareness of mens health issues, particularly prostate and testicular cancers.
However, more needs to be done to make it more acceptable to talk or to seek help with mental health issues too. There is a fear that your mates, family or even partner will take the p!ss if you admit that you are struggling to cope.
This increases stress in every other aspect of life and
has a massive effect on health in general. I'm guilty of it myself, I have hidden how I'm truly feeling or brushed my true feelings off with my amazing humour if I feel uncomfortable.
I've been a hypocrite in the past, suggesting to others that they might need somebody to talk to to go through their issues when I've been hiding mine away. Believing wrongly that I can't show a weakness because I'm a man, a martial
artist and someone others turn to for help and advice.
Fran and I have had a pretty sh!t couple of years with the fertility issues and miscarriage but I put on a strong front to support her and make sure she was okay. She went through a course of counselling and on a holistic retreat that had lots of coaching and came out of the other side a much happier version of herself.
She's ready to move on and get on with what ever our lives together hold.
Here's the thing - I thought I was okay. It wasn't until Fran was well that I realised that I wasn't.
I'd held back emotions to stay strong, I had covered up serious issues in my head with humour. I didn't
seek help, I just got on with it, buried my head in the sand and hoped that everything would sort itself out.
Since admitting that to myself and Fran and following on from the reports about Robin Williams yesterday I am admitting it to you too. In the hope that it will encourage other men to admit their issues and concerns and not cover them up or bury them away. To seek help before they feel there are no
other options available.
I know the path I need to take and will get back to being myself, where humour is for fun not to hide behind. I don't have any problems talking to anybody about anything but I realised I had been brushing around the subject of my own happiness and the life journey I was on.
Being strong isn't putting on a brave
front, it's having the confidence to admit when you need help; be it guidance, support or just a hug.
Darren 'strength has many forms' Checkley