Not bad!

What exactly does that mean?  It is often the answer given when people are asked how they are doing.

Does it mean they're not good either. 

Are they being typically British and are just too polite to say "Everything's sh!t, I can't see a way out and I want to smash my face in to a wall and could really do with someone to just listen".

Or "Not bad at the minute but if I tell you how I'm feeling, I'll have to talk to you for another 15 minutes and I want to get back to watch Eastenders, then I'll feel bad".

I've written many times before about our inability as British people to say what we feel and that ends up causing us more hurt and pain.  My European friends are much more open with their feelings and in my opinion do much better for it.

I'm not asking you to become tree-huggy and start blarting your life's woes to strangers in the street but to be more honest about your feelings with those close to you.  

A friend is part of a group of mums who have a great system at the school gates.  When asked how they are feeling they give a score out of 10.  It's such a simple concept yet tells the other person so much, obviously it rely's on honesty on the score but works really well.

They give their score and the other person then has the opportunity to respond.  That could mean a simple hug, a few minutes for coffee or a simple nod of understanding.  It means that feelings are out in the open and the group aren't missing anything.  

It works, they feel comfortable opening up on their number, it could lead to a chat or just them leaving the kids and walking back home.  It doesn't really matter, they're just not answering the generic 'not bad'

Obviously, everybody will be a 10 today because it's Friday and the weekend.  We all use the weekend to get through the week, taking time out with our friends and family to enjoy food and drinks.  Then get to Monday and that score drop back down.

There are lots of things that we can do to change the situation we are in and up our score.  Believing that we are worth a higher score is one of the most important.

When I am having doubts about my role in life and where I want to be, I read the poem below.

Darren 'an honest 7.5' Checkley